Post by Avocado on Mar 1, 2021 11:09:24 GMT
The Opening
HEY. to preface this whole shit, it's five in the morning where i am about thirteen hours from ftc beginning and because i have insomnia i've decided to just crank this out in one go. i have never made it even CLOSE to a final tribal council before, i have no experience how to write a jury speech, and i'm treading entirely new waters in an unfamiliar territory, so you guys will probably have to bear with me throughout this. maybe i won't have a chance to improve, because in a couple weeks, i'm about to start up a full time job in order to help bring in money for rent and pay for my college tuition. there's a very high chance that i won't be able to play this game again for a long time if at all when this is all through, so i've been playing with the intent to make the most of every opportunity that i've been given
geez. i dont even know where to start this off. when i first applied for this game, i never thought i would make it past the pre-merge, let alone make it to the jury, let alone take a spot in the final three of all things. this has been one hell of a ride from start to finish, and for fifty days straight leading up to this point this game has been living absolutely rent free in my head and taking up most of my thought process. whether it was during college classes or my part time job, i've always been thinkin of how to approach this shit and work my way around the difficult scenarios that i found myself placed in. i cant tell yall how much sleep i lost just picturing different scenarios in my head and figuring out how different situations were going to work, and the best way to overcome my immense threat level and use everything at my disposal to claw myself to the end.
i've had to balance so many aspects of my school life, work life, the real life shit i was going through, and all of the constant doubts and uncertainties in my mind about my performance and how i would be perceived by people. for a long time, i've always been thinking and wondering to myself about how i would handle anything that came my way, and i spent each round playing like it was my last (which there was a very real possibility of it being). still, there's always been one question (or doubt) thats been burned into in my mind from thinking about it so much.
do i deserve this?
that question has been driving me mad for a long, long time now. do i deserve to make it to the next round over people who i've been helping out and looking out for, who may have played better games than me? do i deserve to make it deep into this game when i've been fighting tooth and nail to stay only to be met with backlash from people who clearly didnt approve? do i deserve to sit in front of the jury and make my case to the eight people who are going to decide my fate over the course of the next half a week?
the answer that i've come up with is that i think i deserve to be here to make my case. i've spent fifty long days stressing out about this whole game. fifty days worrying about if each round would be the one where i finally get sent out or my reputation catches up with me. and even when i was at my lowest, even when i was down and out, i always convinced myself to keep fighting day after day and to never get up. so if i didnt believe in myself or my ability to make a case to win this, then that would be pretty disheartening. so its all i can do to fight through this thing no matter what people throw at me and what obstacles come my way, and i hope that i can prove that i have the qualities of a winner to you guys throughout my performance here at this ftc
The Grind
it's not really a secret that i've had the hardest road to get to the end out of any of us three, and you guys have seen the lengths i've needed to go to in order to keep my butt in this game. even from the premerge alone, i started off in a doomed tribe filled with inactive people who i couldn't count on to witness my game, stick up for me, and keep me safe. there's a reason that my tribe has an average of 20th place without me, and no representatives on the jury OR in the flattened people. from the very beginning, i've been almost completely on my own, and i've had to pave my way for myself without anyone that i started out with backing me up.
of course, that's not really a commendable thing when we're already at the end, but the fact that i was able to cast aside the weights of my original tribe that had been bound to me and find some great, loyal people to ally with and take control of the premerge with is remarkable in and of itself. for the entire premerge, i hit the grind HARD. there wasn't a single tribal i attended that i wasn't a crucial part of, and there isnt a single tribal that i attended (and i attended every single tribal in this game except for two) where i didnt get my way. from the alliance with bard and ranger to the maroon three where droids, bard and i led the shipwreck and the ensuing round that followed, i was always able to take out those who didnt benefit me and keep the people i had chances at making better connections with while simultaneously never receiving a vote up until the f12.
granted, given the average activity level around these parts, that isn't exactly the greatest achievement i have under my belt either. my biggest accomplishment in this game is the fact that i was able to make it to the end despite having one of the biggest targets in the game on my back ever since the merge vote where dave thomas rightfully called me out as someone who had a lot of influence, and from then on i spent every single round with my name near (if not at) the top of the most wanted list. with several people wanting me dead in each and every round that passed, i managed to pull out every trick in the book to keep myself alive and flat out scrape my way to the end through sheer force of mental willpower, trickery, and underhanded plays put together in one chaotic and fun blend. maybe i didnt have the most control, or the advantages necessary to turn things in my favor. but i played a villainous and sinister game that i am 100% proud of, and the fact that i was able to be instrumental in every single vote i attended this game while still having that enormous target on my back is downright insane. there are very few people who would have the conviction and willpower to throw as many things at the wall and keep fighting through as much crap as i did, but i made it here on my own merits and my own terms, and i was the one who 'survived'.
if you're looking for someone who played perfectly, that person is not me. if you want someone who played clean and honest, that isn't me. if you're looking for someone who had total control at every point, then that person is also not me.
if you're looking for a person who has outlasted every single twist and turn this game has had to throw at him, being targeted by nearly every single person within this merge at one point, and made it here of his own volition using every tool and strategy he had at his disposal, then that person is me. if you're looking for a person who owns up to their villainous game and the fact that he put out everything he could there to survive, then that person is me. if you're looking for a person who invested everything into this game and put tons of heart and soul into every move he made, that person is me. if at the end of the day, you're looking for a survivor who would best represent the game 'barely survivor', then i hope that i can prove to you that that person is none other than me
The Attachment
ok so that was probably a good place to finish off a standard speech. and if you dont want to hear something else id like to address, then that's fine too. but recently someone mentioned to me that people in this game heavily and completely disliked me because i totally forgot this was social, and that i was robotic and treated people like shit and had no emotions.
i learned a long time ago in this game that this is something that's really hard to do. committing so much time to a game in general and putting as much into it as i-- or anyone has is an achievement in and of itself, and something that should be respected. but on the other side, being so attached to the game means that it's hard to split apart the game from real life, and you might often say stuff that you didn't mean or that could understandably hurt people. not everyone is able to handle criticism or being put in a stressful situation the same as you might be able to, and i think that that's totally okay. still, i think that the very core philosophy of my game has always been to be considerate and open minded when it comes to other players and how they might feel, and i've made it a point to just do my best to have fun and get as far as i can no matter what, and if i lose? then i lose. no hard feelings about it, and there's no use in being bitter over something not going my way. this also means that i've always made an effort to treat my fellow contestants with respect and dignity no matter the situation, and i never made things personal or went beyond the game even when i was at my most devious and devilish. i always keep it real chill with people, because at the end of the day? this is just an online game loosely based off of a reality tv show, and we're all here to have fun
maybe that's wrong for people. maybe that's not what you want out of a finalist. but to me, i've always done my best to connect and try to get to know people and extend that olive branch to them, whether it's me fighting for pineapple to stay back when she was still active way back on the original food tribe, me fighting for droids to stay because i genuinely connected with and liked them, or me fighting for maggie to stay over someone who was a proven ally in plagueis simply because i liked talking with her and really did get along with her. throughout this entire game, i've made it a point to keep my doors open no matter what had happened the round before, and the only way i would go back on that is if i had no other option (such as the final eight vote where i wanted to help myself and bard out first and foremost), or when everything seemed to be unanimously on droids. i've consistently tried to look out for the people who have looked out for me, and that's part of why i took someone like t/h to the end in the first place; not cause i'm most confident in my chances against them, but because they've been my friend since day three and have helped cover my ass even in the most dire of situations
over the course of these fifty days, i've gotten to interact and mingle with every juror individually and gotten an insight into their games, regardless of whether it's been social or strategic in front of me. to say things individually about each and every one of you guys to prove that i HAVE vibed and connected with you and that i didnt just coast my way through and backstab everyone just for the hell of it is something that id be glad to do. i think that this might be the lazy option, but i'm personally going to paste my torchwalks and how i felt about everyone here just in case you do want to read what i have to say about you and what i think about you at the end of the day
Dave Thomas, Founder of Wendy's
C3P0 and R2-D2
Bonobo
Bard
Maggie Smith
Bees
Cleric
and then there's the last juror, grogu.
Grogu. You made the issues that you've had with me pretty public already (and I assume that you've been saying the same things over on the jury), so it's obvious that it's always been an uphill battle for me no matter how you look at it. And an uphill battle is what I've always been prepared for, regardless of whether it's someone like you, Maggie, Bard, T/H, Bees, etc. And one of the things that you mentioned to me was that I was an idiot for trying to take T/H to the end, and that I didn't really want to win. And after I tried explaining things reasonable to you, you snapped and said that you had hated me for this entire game, and that most conversations that you've had with other people were specifically about how much you hated me and what a trash, mopey player I was, and to enjoy second place because I didn't make the right decision and take you to the end. And maybe it's like I said earlier. Maybe you just have thicker skin than me. Maybe you can't process how your words might make that living, breathing person behind the screen feel about how much time and effort they put into one of their favorite hobbies.
So here's my personal take on things at the end of the day. I think that it's embarrassing how, despite all of your claims of having a lot of experience, you can't seem to wrap your head around the fact that some people don't treat this game like it's life or death, and are just looking to have fun. How some people would rather take someone who actually shows them common civility and basic human decency over a person who explicitly treats them like trash and has made it an entire point in their argument how much they have treated them like trash and don't respect them. Would you have been easier to go up against? Maybe, I don't claim to know what the jury is thinking. Do I regret taking T/H to the end with me when they can claim credit for the same moves that I've made and might prove to be a more difficult opponent? The answer is no, I don't regret taking my friend to the end with me, and I would rather lose to a player who treated me like a person rather than even sit next to someone who has made it clear that he doesn't care about me or how I feel. What I do regret is opening up to you about my anxieties and insecurities about my own chances to make it further in this game, and my own fears on how people perceive me at the end of the day-- fears and insecurities that you took advantage of by hurling insults at me and flat out saying that you had been having conversations with them about how much I suck. What I regret is ever looking up to you as an example of how to handle a bad situation and someone who had a good mix of strategic, social, and structural gameplay who could maneuver his way out from a mid pre-merge boot to a serious threat to win. And I hope that after this game is over, you can look back at the experience and consider the effects that your words might have on other people's psyche, and that maybe they AREN'T lying to you about feeling like shit or like people don't respect them.
so maybe i do have a lot of flaws in my game. maybe the jury hates me and thinks that i'm total shit, and maybe they're willing to be open and consider my argument. i've never been good at reading that sort of thing, and with no experience on the other end of it, i'm definitely not able to tell right now. all i can ask is that you guys come in and give me a fair shake, and examine my game from any angle you see fit. and after fifty long days, all i ask is that if you're not willing to give me a chance, then at least treat my fellow finalists with the same respect and dignity you would treat any other person, and we can leave a good mark on LSG history instead of one that's only a bitter taste in people's mouths, because this has been one hell of a game.
if you're to ask me now? i don't have any regrets about the game that i've played, and i have full confidence in my ability to make it through this one last hurdle and pull out a win. and i hope to prove to you guys that i really do deserve to come out on top
thanks for reading if you got this far, and i cant wait to see how yall analyze and dissect my game. lets make this ftc a good one my dudes
of course, that's not really a commendable thing when we're already at the end, but the fact that i was able to cast aside the weights of my original tribe that had been bound to me and find some great, loyal people to ally with and take control of the premerge with is remarkable in and of itself. for the entire premerge, i hit the grind HARD. there wasn't a single tribal i attended that i wasn't a crucial part of, and there isnt a single tribal that i attended (and i attended every single tribal in this game except for two) where i didnt get my way. from the alliance with bard and ranger to the maroon three where droids, bard and i led the shipwreck and the ensuing round that followed, i was always able to take out those who didnt benefit me and keep the people i had chances at making better connections with while simultaneously never receiving a vote up until the f12.
granted, given the average activity level around these parts, that isn't exactly the greatest achievement i have under my belt either. my biggest accomplishment in this game is the fact that i was able to make it to the end despite having one of the biggest targets in the game on my back ever since the merge vote where dave thomas rightfully called me out as someone who had a lot of influence, and from then on i spent every single round with my name near (if not at) the top of the most wanted list. with several people wanting me dead in each and every round that passed, i managed to pull out every trick in the book to keep myself alive and flat out scrape my way to the end through sheer force of mental willpower, trickery, and underhanded plays put together in one chaotic and fun blend. maybe i didnt have the most control, or the advantages necessary to turn things in my favor. but i played a villainous and sinister game that i am 100% proud of, and the fact that i was able to be instrumental in every single vote i attended this game while still having that enormous target on my back is downright insane. there are very few people who would have the conviction and willpower to throw as many things at the wall and keep fighting through as much crap as i did, but i made it here on my own merits and my own terms, and i was the one who 'survived'.
if you're looking for someone who played perfectly, that person is not me. if you want someone who played clean and honest, that isn't me. if you're looking for someone who had total control at every point, then that person is also not me.
if you're looking for a person who has outlasted every single twist and turn this game has had to throw at him, being targeted by nearly every single person within this merge at one point, and made it here of his own volition using every tool and strategy he had at his disposal, then that person is me. if you're looking for a person who owns up to their villainous game and the fact that he put out everything he could there to survive, then that person is me. if you're looking for a person who invested everything into this game and put tons of heart and soul into every move he made, that person is me. if at the end of the day, you're looking for a survivor who would best represent the game 'barely survivor', then i hope that i can prove to you that that person is none other than me
The Attachment
ok so that was probably a good place to finish off a standard speech. and if you dont want to hear something else id like to address, then that's fine too. but recently someone mentioned to me that people in this game heavily and completely disliked me because i totally forgot this was social, and that i was robotic and treated people like shit and had no emotions.
i learned a long time ago in this game that this is something that's really hard to do. committing so much time to a game in general and putting as much into it as i-- or anyone has is an achievement in and of itself, and something that should be respected. but on the other side, being so attached to the game means that it's hard to split apart the game from real life, and you might often say stuff that you didn't mean or that could understandably hurt people. not everyone is able to handle criticism or being put in a stressful situation the same as you might be able to, and i think that that's totally okay. still, i think that the very core philosophy of my game has always been to be considerate and open minded when it comes to other players and how they might feel, and i've made it a point to just do my best to have fun and get as far as i can no matter what, and if i lose? then i lose. no hard feelings about it, and there's no use in being bitter over something not going my way. this also means that i've always made an effort to treat my fellow contestants with respect and dignity no matter the situation, and i never made things personal or went beyond the game even when i was at my most devious and devilish. i always keep it real chill with people, because at the end of the day? this is just an online game loosely based off of a reality tv show, and we're all here to have fun
maybe that's wrong for people. maybe that's not what you want out of a finalist. but to me, i've always done my best to connect and try to get to know people and extend that olive branch to them, whether it's me fighting for pineapple to stay back when she was still active way back on the original food tribe, me fighting for droids to stay because i genuinely connected with and liked them, or me fighting for maggie to stay over someone who was a proven ally in plagueis simply because i liked talking with her and really did get along with her. throughout this entire game, i've made it a point to keep my doors open no matter what had happened the round before, and the only way i would go back on that is if i had no other option (such as the final eight vote where i wanted to help myself and bard out first and foremost), or when everything seemed to be unanimously on droids. i've consistently tried to look out for the people who have looked out for me, and that's part of why i took someone like t/h to the end in the first place; not cause i'm most confident in my chances against them, but because they've been my friend since day three and have helped cover my ass even in the most dire of situations
over the course of these fifty days, i've gotten to interact and mingle with every juror individually and gotten an insight into their games, regardless of whether it's been social or strategic in front of me. to say things individually about each and every one of you guys to prove that i HAVE vibed and connected with you and that i didnt just coast my way through and backstab everyone just for the hell of it is something that id be glad to do. i think that this might be the lazy option, but i'm personally going to paste my torchwalks and how i felt about everyone here just in case you do want to read what i have to say about you and what i think about you at the end of the day
Dave Thomas, Founder of Wendy's
WOW my dude you were an absolute force to be reckoned with. maybe you didnt see it that way cos of how you were distracted by irl shit, maybe we never really had the closest connection. but the truth is that you were a really cool dude whose motivations were an enigma, and the unknown factor you brought to the game after we never met before the shipwreck as well as the fact that we were on other sides of the fence intimidated me hardcore, and i think that if i hadnt planted the seeds of doubt in your game and painted you as an enormous threat challenge and social-wise that you could have honestly made a deep run. you said that you werent that big of a threat (and i definitely inflated that perception a bit), but i definitely respected the game you played and we were always destined to target each other eventually. you had great reads on the game and were the first to call me out as a threat, but your own reputation caught up with you and you were the first to bite the dust cos of it. mad props to you for the cajones to make that tribal a lot more exciting than it woulda been otherwise
C3P0 and R2-D2
ohh f*** my dudes. you got a RAW deal within the context a the merge and the hand before it, and i remember you bein an integral part of our four man quartet and just two bros in general that i could hang with as part a the maroon three. after i defended and helped you out (which turned out to not be needed cos of the immunity), we grew really close and formed a powerhouse three with bard that had the potential to set up the entire game in our favor. ill always remember your prowess at maneuvering your way around the various twists and challenges this game had to offer. your judge challenge creativity ones in particular were hilarious, and i kinda regret stealin immunity away from you in the f10 cos i basically inadvertently sealed your fate there. to the end though i had the same 'bro' vibes with you that i did with bard, and if you had lasted any longer you woulda been a huge threat to be reckoned with. maybe voting for maggie to try to save you was a dent in my game, but i dont regret lookin out for you even if you had turned on our group. you are super chill and you should be proud a the game you played
Bonobo
BONOBO you are my absolute homeslice (even if we didnt entirely see eye to eye following the second swap). i think you are easily the most chill and laid back dude in this entire cast, and i remember immediately hittin it off with you as soon as we met with the avocado lotion and business discussion. i think you share the exact same absurdist sense of humor i do, have the same lighthearted spirit and casual nature regardin the game that i do, and the same avant garde devil may care nature when approaching this that i dont see that often. were basically two sides a the same coin as far as how social game goes, and you were honestly the player i was genuinely the most scared of leading up to the merge and whatnot specifically cos you were so well connected and nobody had anything bad to say about you. still i was struck by your devilish ape-esque charm even when we werent really on the same side, and the banana dress that you came out with in that fashion challenge is the hardest i think ive laughed in the whole game. i regret the fact that i had to target dave the shield to dismantle the alliance that you had, but you TOTALLY had the drive and will to continue beyond that. finally i feel like you got the worst hand in the demerge outta anyone but maybe bard, and i really did wanna work with you. unfortunately you didnt trust me and recognized that i was a big player and came after me. overall i feel like youre chill and without that demerge you couldve easily been sittin here instead a me
Bard
holy shit where do i even begin with this one my dude. ive been staring at this wondering what to write for a solid 10 minutes or so now cos i have no idea how to express how much your game and friendship meant to me throughout this whole thing. from the absolute MOMENT we met each other i knew that i was going to love you and want to go deep with you into this mf game and we were attached from the hip not even a day or two into that chocolate tribe. we stayed together for the longest outta anyone in this entire game for so long, shared six tribes together, shared all of our choices and decisions that we would make together, shared our interests, ideas, and personal lives with each other, and were together for so long and made so many memories of how much bs we went through in this entire game that i felt like a piece a me was missing when you got blindsided and taken out. your boot hurt me the most outta anyone in this entire game specifically cos a how close we were together, and i think that in the right scenario without my presence makin you into a bigger threat you coulda gone on a lot longer without bein singled out and i apologize for makin you stand out like that. you are the coolest person in this entire game and your messages were my absolute favorite to respond to to the point where i would always make an effort to answer em first outta all of em (partially to avoid burnout and partially cos you are just the most awesome mf ive met in an lsg to date). we share the same music taste, the same strategy and thoughts for how to continue and shit, and on the opposite side a things we totally complete each other like a yin and a yang. youre the laid back social gamer to balance my strategy and reassure me when the going gets rough, and i absolutely could not have made it to the final four (or maybe even the end depending on when you see this) without you. you are my favorite ally and friend i have ever met in one of these games and i will always treasure the time we spent together. tysm for helping guide me throughout uncharted waters and i really hope that we can keep in touch and shit after this game is over. you're amazing. <3
Maggie Smith
aaaaah i still feel guilty for the way your boot went down. even if it was the objectively safest move for me to use the idol on myself after how much my name was thrown out i still REALLY regret not playin it on you and saving you after you had been lookin after me for so long leadin up to it. i feel really responsible for the way that tribal panned out even if it was almost impossible for it to go our way considering that they had two idols, and i think if your key allies hadnt been taken out beforehand then you genuinely coulda slid under the radar and made it to the end. beyond that final 7 tribal council though i think that youre a wonderful and compassionate person in general, and even if i did plagueis dirty in the tribal where he went i dont regret going out on a limb to help you out (even if it turned out that you didnt need it). you are the kind of person who is very straight up, forgiving, and a treat to talk to no matter what and you definitely gave me forgiveness that i didnt deserve after i almost blindsided you with t/h in the droids tribal. your social game was absolutely off the charts, and theres a reason you were the biggest threat to win after bard happened to go home. unfortunately your game was cut short by people who recognized the game you were playing and eventually your own kindness worked against you. i really cant wait to find out who you are cos you are an excellent person.
Bees
ohhh geez i really dont have any idea a what to say here either. we got off to a great start and really connected on the maroon tribe, and i defended you when people considered you kinda a passive non threat who wouldnt really anger people, but after we swapped away from each other and that messy merge tribe happened we REALLY drifted apart and never were able to level with each other beyond that since we were never willing to give each other the opportunity to work together (which is partially my fault in general, especially when i needed to take that idol in order to protect myself). i consider you my biggest rival throughout the postmerge and someone who was incredibly tough and well connected to the point where you were never targeted until the f6 tribal council where you went home in itself, and i had to pull out every stop to get you targeted over me when there was no chance a gettin out someone like grogu who still had that nullifier on his side. you were never gonna let me get to the end no matter what cos of the incredibly visible game i played and you were completely right to butt heads with me the same way i saw you as a threat in general as well. plagueis said that you were the best all around player when it comes to social, strategic, and challenge game and i would honestly have to agree with him cos you are a FORCE to be reckoned with. if you had won that challenge there i have no doubt that youd be sittin here instead of me. i also really admire the classy way you went out and the insight you gave into my game, and i hope i can show off the same resilience and tenacity that you respected when you were eliminated. big appreciation to you for playing such a strong game my dude
Cleric
shiiit dude. where did we end up goin wrong? we never met each other prior to the shipwreck, and since that was a mess in and of its own right what with the dnd members ending up bein the biggest targets i think that we were never truly able to connect and form a bond (that and snow leopard kinda gave a bad first impression a me that was outta my control). i ended up voting for you to go to save bard's friend even if i didnt really have a preference on who was eliminated, and we met up again in the flatlands where i targeted and voted out ranger. i wanted to bring you or plagueis back to life and only had the slightest preference, and when we actually ended up with you comin back i think that my own indecision there caused you to never really trust me (that and you identified me and bard as power players that you shouldnt go to the end with right off a the bat, which made our job a lot harder). you might have suffered a lotta issues with personal life and work and whatnot, but i still respect the game you played and going from voted out first after missing the marooning all the way to having to be taken out at the final five in firemaking and making it the furthest out of your entire tribe is a really commendable achievement, and you should definitely be happy with how you did. i hope i can see you improve and learn from your mistakes in the future cos you are the type a person i really wanna learn more about when it comes down to it. mad credit to you for fighting round after round to make it this far.
and then there's the last juror, grogu.
Grogu. You made the issues that you've had with me pretty public already (and I assume that you've been saying the same things over on the jury), so it's obvious that it's always been an uphill battle for me no matter how you look at it. And an uphill battle is what I've always been prepared for, regardless of whether it's someone like you, Maggie, Bard, T/H, Bees, etc. And one of the things that you mentioned to me was that I was an idiot for trying to take T/H to the end, and that I didn't really want to win. And after I tried explaining things reasonable to you, you snapped and said that you had hated me for this entire game, and that most conversations that you've had with other people were specifically about how much you hated me and what a trash, mopey player I was, and to enjoy second place because I didn't make the right decision and take you to the end. And maybe it's like I said earlier. Maybe you just have thicker skin than me. Maybe you can't process how your words might make that living, breathing person behind the screen feel about how much time and effort they put into one of their favorite hobbies.
So here's my personal take on things at the end of the day. I think that it's embarrassing how, despite all of your claims of having a lot of experience, you can't seem to wrap your head around the fact that some people don't treat this game like it's life or death, and are just looking to have fun. How some people would rather take someone who actually shows them common civility and basic human decency over a person who explicitly treats them like trash and has made it an entire point in their argument how much they have treated them like trash and don't respect them. Would you have been easier to go up against? Maybe, I don't claim to know what the jury is thinking. Do I regret taking T/H to the end with me when they can claim credit for the same moves that I've made and might prove to be a more difficult opponent? The answer is no, I don't regret taking my friend to the end with me, and I would rather lose to a player who treated me like a person rather than even sit next to someone who has made it clear that he doesn't care about me or how I feel. What I do regret is opening up to you about my anxieties and insecurities about my own chances to make it further in this game, and my own fears on how people perceive me at the end of the day-- fears and insecurities that you took advantage of by hurling insults at me and flat out saying that you had been having conversations with them about how much I suck. What I regret is ever looking up to you as an example of how to handle a bad situation and someone who had a good mix of strategic, social, and structural gameplay who could maneuver his way out from a mid pre-merge boot to a serious threat to win. And I hope that after this game is over, you can look back at the experience and consider the effects that your words might have on other people's psyche, and that maybe they AREN'T lying to you about feeling like shit or like people don't respect them.
The (First) Closer
so maybe i do have a lot of flaws in my game. maybe the jury hates me and thinks that i'm total shit, and maybe they're willing to be open and consider my argument. i've never been good at reading that sort of thing, and with no experience on the other end of it, i'm definitely not able to tell right now. all i can ask is that you guys come in and give me a fair shake, and examine my game from any angle you see fit. and after fifty long days, all i ask is that if you're not willing to give me a chance, then at least treat my fellow finalists with the same respect and dignity you would treat any other person, and we can leave a good mark on LSG history instead of one that's only a bitter taste in people's mouths, because this has been one hell of a game.
if you're to ask me now? i don't have any regrets about the game that i've played, and i have full confidence in my ability to make it through this one last hurdle and pull out a win. and i hope to prove to you guys that i really do deserve to come out on top
thanks for reading if you got this far, and i cant wait to see how yall analyze and dissect my game. lets make this ftc a good one my dudes
